Having Tea

We’re having tea – strong, sweet tea – as we sit on the stone veranda overlooking an emerald sea. You’re laughing and telling funny stories about the challenges in your life when the conversation turns to career. “I don’t know – it’s just not clear to me what my true work is or how to manifest it,” you explain. “The job I’m doing, well, it pays the bills. But I feel like I’m dying inside.”

We sip our tea and look quietly out over the stone wall beside our table – across the vast expanse of open water. There are white gulls in the distance and a gentle breeze ruffles the cloth on our table.

“You’re a master soul, my friend. You’re required to own up to your great work in this lifetime,” I whisper to you softly across the table. “Remember, you signed up for this. You chose to come forward as a teacher to use your gifts to help raise the vibration of the planet.”

“I’m just not seeing it,” you sigh with frustration – putting down your cup forcefully on its saucer. Again, we pull out your notebook and look at your name, your birth date. We add the digits again and study the numbers. We meditate on your path.

“Yes, it’s a master path,” I explain. “No way around it. And yes, you wrapped that lovely Pisces energy around it to flavor your mission with emotion and intuition. It’s quite a lovely path, actually, though different from what most would people call a ‘normal’ life.”

“I guess that’s the problem,” you moan. “I see the path, but how do I do it? I have to pay the mortgage and … the kids, well. That’s another story…”

But you signed up for all that as well, I remind you. “Now, you’re bumping up against a big choice-point in your life. What you do and think about right now determines everything. And it models a way of living for your children who are watching every move you make and don’t make.”

“I get that,” you say softly.

“Are you focused on the great possibilities in front of you, the potential solutions for making a change in your life? Or are you focused on the reasons why you can’t change? Are you letting self-doubt and fear pull you down into the ‘pitiful self’ where there are no solutions and steps can’t be taken?”

“Guess I have been feeling kinda pitiful,” you say with a smile. “I just don’t feel good enough or smart enough to … I mean, who do I think I am to want to do something important in the world?”

“You are who you came here to be, and your mission is what it is. Don’t waste your energy doubting it. Let’s jot down some baby steps you can take to investigate doing the work we talked about. Let’s see, you said you knew some people you could talk to about that business idea. And there were some websites you were going to visit and phone calls to make…”

“But why do I have so much pain?” you ask. “It hasn’t been an easy lifetime.”

“You set it up that way. The pain in your lifetime is designed to become your fuel to do your work in the world – making the world a better place in your unique way. Your pain becomes your motivation – your mission.”

“When I grew up, I was abused and powerless as a child,” you explain. “I’m still wounded by that.”

“It means your mission now is to offer to others what you wished had been offered to you; your work is to help others realize how powerful they are and learn to trust themselves and their own inner guidance – in spite of whatever circumstances make them doubt themselves.”

“How?”

“By using your innate gifts in your work. Those gifts are always on purpose – not incidental. They aren’t supposed to be relegated to hobbies or volunteer work. We are meant to make our living with our gifts – not bury them.”

“Then why am I so afraid?”

“Well that’s the ‘pitiful self’ that we all have – our universal negativity. We can choose to give in to our fear and not live up to our mission. Or we can choose to move forward anyway – using our fear as fuel to make us successful. At the end of our lifetime, it matters to us how well we pushed past that fear and lived up to the mission.”

You ponder that for awhile as we finish the tea. Together, we write a list of baby steps you can take to investigate your new career ideas, to move forward, to look into possibilities for change. You promise to focus your thoughts on solutions, and you promise to meditate or pray every day for at least 20 minutes in order to tap into your higher self and remember your mission.

We sit for a few more minutes in silence – watching the ripples in the water below us. After awhile you say, “Okay, I’m good now. I remember.” You stand up from the table.

You wake up.

Tidal Waves

I’m standing on a beach surrounded by a vast expanse of dark sand for as far as I can see. Gulls are squawking in the distance. I’m looking into my father’s watery blue eyes. He’s animated and young, explaining something to me with more passion than I ever saw in the last years of his life. His brother, my beloved Uncle Pete, who died soon after my dad, is standing beside us, laughing.

We’re enjoying the vivid openness of the sand and sky and sharing stories when behind them in the distance, I see a huge tidal wave rolling along the sand towards us – maybe 100 feet high and towering ominously over the flat landscape. We turn and see another powerful wave rolling directly towards us from the opposite direction. We’re standing in the midst of these two oncoming waves, and in an instant realize there’s nothing to do.

I grab their hands. “How will we remember?” I ask staring into their eyes. “How will we find each other again?”

“Don’t worry,” whispers my Uncle Pete. “We always find each other.” He whispers something else, but I can’t hear his words from the sound of the crashing waves.

I wake up gasping for breath – still feeling their strong hands wrapped around mine – longing for that moment again, hearing their voices in my head, unable to get back to sleep. Do we always find each other again? Isn’t that endless longing the tyranny of grief? Or is it simply our limited perspective on time and space.

Grieving clients constantly seek me out. They fill my appointment book. Maybe they sense I can help them find their footing in the midst of swirling waters. Today, my client tells me about her partner who recently died. She hasn’t been able to move forward and is lost in her depression. She needs to make a living, yet she’s drowning in pain.

I explain that she’s still here because she hasn’t accomplished her mission for this lifetime, and her partner is watching, patiently waiting for her to get to it. “You haven’t really lost each other,” I explain. “It’s just a shift of perspective, a different dimension. Nothing is really lost.”

As I say this, I get chills over my entire body – a sign that I’ve tuned into something for her. “Do you know that your partner watches you struggle? I ask her gently. My client nods. “He wants me to teach,” she says through her tears. In that moment, I see the spark in her, the life force, rekindling. We both feel it. She laughs softly.

“Let’s talk about how to make that happen,” I whisper. Months later she writes, “You encouraged me to fulfill the mission for my life, and I’m getting to it. I’ve woken up.”

Later, I’m meditating on a new client. I ask if there are messages from the higher realms to help her move forward. In my meditation I see a gentleman, slumped-over and kind of embarrassed, slinking up to me. He mumbles, “Well it wasn’t that great when we were married. Tell her I’m sorry. Tell her she doesn’t need to be so angry. I see what I did. I’d like to help. There is money. Tell her to go to school.” I write it all down for our session.

Later when I’m working with her, I learn that her husband died and left a trail of sexual and physical abuse in the family. My client is very lost in her pain, grief, and anger. I give her the messages from her departed husband. She is slightly amused that he’s slinking around apologizing.

Upon further discussion, she sees that there might be a way to use money from his estate to fund her return to graduate school so that she can move her career forward to get to the great work – the work that her pain has fueled her to do.

Her great shame, that has weighed her down for years, has been that her husband abused the children. She is beginning to see that this is also the great fuel that fires her passion to help others. She looks into graduate school and later tells me, “I feel more clear-headed and focused than I have in years. Thank you so much.”

Why does pain drown us? I reflect back on promises made to my dying husband 25 years before – “We’ll find each other again,” I whispered at his bedside just before his spirit slipped away. Two years later, I whispered the same words to my best childhood girlfriend, Crissie, who was dying of Leukemia at the age of 32. On the last day I spent with her, a hot August afternoon, we walked across our favorite island together, reminiscing about our shared childhood and contemplating death.

“What’s the hardest part?” I asked her. “Seeing it hurt my father,” she cried. How those words haunted me for years – that Crissie suffered not only from her disease, but from knowing how the grief would weigh down her loved ones.

Perhaps the pain of grief is really the pain of remembering our own home, our true nature, our divinity, and wanting to return there. Aren’t we simply longing for that divine realm again – where everything and everyone is luminous and connected?

Yet, until our work is done, our lifetime mission accomplished, we can’t go home. And every moment we spend longing, instead of moving forward with our great work, is wasted time. I’m certainly guilty of that – creating a limbo of pain instead of just moving forward and getting the mission accomplished.

I believe this is our universal challenge – overcoming the “pitiful voice” that stops us all at the door of greatness. It’s those wasted days of feeling “useless, not good enough, not strong enough, not smart enough” or saying, “I don’t care.” It’s the days when we lay down and surrender to doubt.

And most of the time we look to the wrong sources for comfort, when we’re lost in our “pitiful self.” It takes courage to focus on the higher self, the divinity, the unseen realms for guidance – instead of looking to our peers for approval and support.

But by going to our higher self through meditation, prayers, and dreams, we do find our courage again. In fact, that’s often the most powerful way to reverse a negative cycle. Here’s an example:

Recently, after several days of struggling with self-doubt and praying for guidance, I had this dream: I arrive at a lake and see my spiritual teacher standing on the shore. He tells me to walk through a passageway, and I do. I find myself winding through hallways and emerging into a large room – a simple open white space where several people are sitting on cushions.

At the front of the room is a friend who is teaching meditation to the group. She smiles at me and says it’s fine that I’m there. I say that I’m tired, very tired. Someone sitting behind me props my back up as I sit to meditate with them. I feel nurtured being in that space. We meditate together. As I sit there quietly, I become aware that the room, the entire space, is filled with golden light, brighter than sunlight, spilling over all of us. It soothes me with happiness like drinking from a fountain of peace. I wake up feeling renewed – still seeing the golden light illuminate the room.

Help From a Departed Husband

He’s a thin man; a cowboy in tight jeans, standing in front of me with his hands in his pockets. We’re having a conversation when I realize that he’s dying; he has advanced cancer and is pretending not to know it.

“You need to go into the hospital,” I explain. “Well, I don’t really want to do that,” he says casually. I become concerned about this man not getting help, and I visit a hospital, walking down its long corridors – trying to find someone or an empty room.

Walking behind me very slowly, he whispers: “Tell her to write. I’m sorry about the cancer.” I turn around and he has died, slipped away in front of me – before I could find help.

I wake up.

I didn’t know him. It makes no sense. Who was he? I rack my brain for connections. Sleepy, I drive the kids to school, get a latte, and come home to meditate on my first client before I call her.

It’s hard to get a reading on Cathy. She’s a down-to-earth Capricorn on the path of the “hard-working number 4.” And, I realize, as I look at the birth date she sent me, so is her husband. They’re both earthy and practical – very strong and intensely bound to each other.

In her email, she said he died last summer. I can feel that he was powerfully grounded and worked with his hands. And it’s clear, from meditating on her birth date, that she needs meaningful work to ground her – to give her purpose.

As I meditate on both of them, I realize that he’s the dying man in my dream telling me that he’s “sorry about the cancer.” I ask him now what he wants me to tell Cathy and the words come: “I provided for her. She’s okay. Tell her not to be so upset. Tell her to relax. I don’t know why she’s so upset.” I write this all down for my client.

Cathy’s having a rough time and cries from the moment we begin talking. She tells me that she was recently hospitalized for depression and she’s falling apart. I tell her I had a dream and it might be her husband. She takes a deep breath and gets quiet. “Okay, tell me.”

I describe the down-to-earth man in the dream. I tell her he knew he was sick but didn’t want the medical care. He wanted it to go the way it went. He’s sorry that it traumatized her. But he’s okay now and wants her to be too. Again, the words – “tell her to write.”

“Yes, he had stomach cancer and died a couple weeks after he was diagnosed,” she explains. “Died at home…never lost consciousness until the end. He suffered terribly.”

She is devastated by the loss and more devastated by the memory of the suffering he went through at home while she cared for him. “He was my rock. I can’t go on without him. I’m traumatized by it.”

I give her all of his messages. I remind her how strong she is, and that she chose this experience as part of her journey. “He wants you to relax and enjoy your life. But I think you need meaningful work to ground you,” I explain.

“Yes, I feel so lost. My job is meaningless.”

Cathy explains that she and her husband were National Park rangers for 20 years. I’m amazed at how well that reflects their chosen paths combining the earthy Capricorn energy with the physically strong path of the number 4; a perfect expression of destined work for these two down-to-earth, hard-working, soul mates. And now he’s gone.

Last summer Cathy transferred to a desk job doing administrative tasks for the Park Service. She can’t go back to being a ranger without him, yet the administrative work is meaningless.

“What did he mean about the writing?” I ask.

“I wrote a blog about what my husband was going through last summer and people loved it. They said I was a great writer. My husband always told me I should write professionally.”

“Have you explored a writing career?” I ask.

She says she hasn’t, so we discuss ideas, classes, books to read, projects to start. Slowly her voice becomes more alive – in small bits – like an engine starting to catch after a long, hard winter. I feel her husband beside me nodding in approval, “Yes, yes,” he says. “Tell her to write.”

Before we hang up, she’s promising to follow-up with the assignments we discussed, taking classes, reading books, looking into graduate schools. There’s hope in her voice. I remind her that she’s still here on purpose with something meaningful to do. “Your pain is your fuel,” I explain. “Use it now to make the world a better place.”

After the session, I thank her husband for showing up and offering guidance. I tell him I hope we got it right.

Sometimes when we’re in grief, the only guidance we’ll accept is what comes from our departed loved ones. He got through to her this time, and she may have turned a corner in her grieving process. Hopefully, she’ll rally her strength to move forward. I’ll hold that vision for her.

Life to You: Wake Up & Reinvent!

Let’s say you’ve done all the right things; went to law school, got a job with a good firm, and now collect a nice paycheck and benefits. Yet, the age of 30 is fast approaching and you’re feeling like you’re wearing the wrong skin. Your life doesn’t fit who you are inside. Yet everyone around you is very proud of your accomplishments. You can’t even discuss your unhappiness with friends. They say, “Be grateful you have a great job. The economy is terrible, and you won’t find anything better than what you have.”

Or, maybe you’ve been successful at your career for many years and the age of 57 is fast approaching. You’ve built your reputation, honed your skills, and are quite good at what you do. You’re rather attached to your prestigious title. Yet inside you’re tormented. You toss and turn at night. The politics in your office are driving you mad, and you’re having health problems.

Congratulations! You’re right on schedule. If you’re questioning everything about your life from career to relationships, this is on purpose. You pre-programmed these two major career reinventions into your lifetime, and you’ve just bumped into one.

It’s time to wake up and remember who you are and what you came to do. These two turning points are what the astrologers call the Saturn Returnings. When they coincide with your personal nine year (from numerology), your life flips upside down.

The first wake-up call hits everyone from the ages of 27 to 30; the second hits us from age 57 to 59. You also have the end of your personal nine-year cycle falling in the midst of all this. The unease you experience is inevitable; You signed up for this challenge!

Quit complaining about how confused you feel, and be grateful that your wise old higher self knew you would need these two major wake up calls and pre-programmed them into your lifetime. The pain you feel is on purpose; it’s your fuel for moving forward. If you don’t use that pain to fuel your reinvention, you’ll self-destruct.

The end result of this inner turmoil will be a happier career that’s more aligned with your authentic self and what you came here to accomplish. No one else did this to you; even if you’ve been fired, laid off, or broken up with. It’s what your higher self intended. It’s not the end of your world, it’s just the beginning.

Now is the time to ask yourself the big questions: Why am I here? What did I come here to accomplish? What gifts and talents did I bring with me to accomplish my mission? These questions will guide you to the first step of your career change – whether that means investigating where you could teach law (if teaching is part of your mission); or researching a different type of law practice (if that would be more in alignment with your authentic self); getting re-educated, or starting your own business.

Your new direction builds on the things you’ve already accomplished; you take your past experiences and knowledge and re-package them for your next career. Every course you’ve ever studied and every skill you’ve ever learned has been on purpose. Now it’s time to re-use, recycle, and reinvent everything you know.

Please understand that you did come here with a mission – to raise the vibration of the planet in your unique way using your innate gifts and talents. This is also known as “work.” You pre-programmed it into your date of birth, name at birth, and many other places inside of you to create your GPS guidance system – the quiet voice that calmly reminds you of your mission.

And that mission does require frequent reinventions. Stepping up to the next level of your work is required several times during a lifetime – especially every nine years. But the biggest changes are required at ages 27 to 30 and again at 57 to 59. This is when your higher self turns up the volume and yells: “Mission not yet accomplished!”

The turning point at 57 can be the most challenging. My goodness, you’ve had an awesome career so far. You’ve raised kids. You’re not just a nobody. Yet your life is in turmoil. You know inside that you haven’t done your great work yet. You know you’re here to make a difference in the world – leave a larger legacy.

In your 50s, it’s time to peel off the layers of pretense and false identity you’ve developed to succeed in the world of career. Own your naked, authentic self in the world, and do the sacred work you’ve already signed up for. Even if that means owning up to something you’ve never owned up to before.

Your higher self is telling you that you only have a few productive decades left, and it’s now or never. When health issues happen in our 50s, it’s just the soul nudging us to remember who we are.

It’s your choice. Your life is ruled by free will. You either choose to rise above your challenges and live up to the great potential you came here to accomplish, or sink beneath your pain and fear and not live up to it this time around.

Either way, it’s your mission. There’s no one to answer to about your success or failure but yourself. And, as you can tell from the way you feel at these transition points, your higher self is your harshest judge. Be grateful for your pre-programmed mission and move forward.

If you’re currently in the middle of either of these career/life transitions, here are some steps to help you move forward as powerfully as possible.

1. Meditate or pray at least twice a day to quiet your crazy thinking and tap into your higher self, which is where you’ll find the answers you can trust. Meditation is the best way to tap into your inner GPS system.
2. Be grateful for this opportunity to reinvent, and be honest about how unhappy and off-path you’ve been.
3. Raise your energy through little things like laughing, walking and reading inspirational books. Raising your energy will help move you forward in a positive direction.
4. Dream of your amazing new life and career. What will it look like? Focus only on the future and what you want to happen next.
5. See a Career Intuitive/Coach/Counselor or take a career workshop to help you manage this transition.
6. Let go. Surrender what you know. The new direction reveals itself only when you’re open and have let go of your old story.

Are You Off-Path?

Did you know that you arrived on earth with a built-in GPS device embedded inside of you? You programmed it before you were born. It contains all the directions you’ll ever need in this lifetime. It’s designed to get you dead-on target to your destined great work – the work you came here to do that uses your unique talents to raise the vibration of the planet.

Even when your life feels like it’s not moving forward, like your career is slipping through your fingers, like relationships you used to count on are shifting – you will move through this phase and emerge on the other end with a more powerful direction than ever before. (I promise!)

You’re just getting a little nudge from the universe – because it’s time to get back on-path. Nudging is what’s going on when you get fired, laid off, rejected, hired, promoted, or your business goes bankrupt. You’ve been nudged!

Your life is all on purpose. There are no accidents. Every event, circumstance and relationship has been nudging you to follow your true path and do your great work. We live in a world of constantly changing growth cycles. When you’re done with one cycle of learning, it’s done with you. Move on, so the universe doesn’t have to kick you in the butt…um…nudge you.

Before you were born, your soul knew what it needed to master in order to evolve to its highest good; you knew that evolving your soul would help thousands of people around you. You signed up for this human adventure in order to help all of humanity. You understood that you could choose to live up to your fullest potential, use your divine energy to master circumstances, and use your talents to raise the vibration of the planet through your great work. Or you could give in to depression, sadness, anger, fear, and desperation – and not live up to the powerful divine potential you set for yourself. It would be your choice.

And now – here you are! At the company party, your boss announces they’re downsizing and won’t need your services anymore; your spouse leaves you for a dancer; and your real estate investments flop. Oh well… Say, “Thank you! I must have been really off my true path to get kicked this hard.” Turn around and face forward. Ask, “What do I want my life to look like now?”

Take one step in that new direction. You’ll feel better immediately. When we’ve fallen off of our true path, our loved ones get fed up with us, bosses fire us, co-workers complain about us, and we stop attracting clients and customers.
If you’ve just been nudged, wake up. You’re not a victim. You’re being reminded that you need to go in a direction that’s closer to your true self, your naked self, and the divine work you came here to do. (Listen up now or the nudging will only get worse).

When everything is slipping through your fingers, let it go. When you’ve lost a job, let it go. Come up for air and look around you at the big picture of your life. Ask: “What did I really come here to do?” (It’s always bigger, better and more meaningful than what you’ve been doing.)

Wouldn’t it be better if the world didn’t have to nudge you (sometimes painfully) to get on-path? Wouldn’t you prefer to see the road yourself and move forward through its twists and turns fearlessly – along the journey you already signed up for?

Sit down and meditate. Feel your own vibration pulsing from you. Listen to your inner GPS unit saying, “Turn Left.” You have quiet dreams, desires and truths that you’ve stuffed away to fit in – especially if you’ve spent years working in a corporate environment. The more you can quiet the chatter of your mind, the more you’ll get back in touch with the real you – the naked you who came here on purpose.

Look around you at those people living “charmed lives.” Chances are they’re just living true to their pre-designed paths.
Your path is completely different from everyone else’s. Your truth will only come from within you – not from looking at what anyone else is up to. When you look at your neighbor and say, “I want to do what he does for a living,” you’re forgetting your own unique journey that you chose long ago. As we look around us at what others are doing, we lose our way.

When you’re firmly on your unique path, you feel impassioned by your life and work – no matter what anyone else is doing, and no matter what anyone thinks of you. Abundance flows to you, and your life is in harmony. When you’re not living true to what you signed up for – nothing works well – not even relationships. Here are five steps to get you back on path.

5 steps to take when you’ve just been nudged:

1. LET GO! Open your hands and let it slip away. Quit grasping. Don’t be desperate. That’s a bad vibration, and it doesn’t get you anywhere worth going.

2. Meditate: Listen to your inner GPS device. Stop listening to what everybody around you is saying. Your soul knows the answer because your soul planned the journey. Your best friend doesn’t know your path, and neither does your spouse.

3. Trust: The new path will reveal itself when the time is right. In spite of how things may seem right now, divine order is always in action. If it feels like nothing is working like it used to – release it all. Make room for the new. (Schedule a Career Intuitive Session with me to help you move forward).

4. Appreciate the divine dance we’re all doing – nudging each other to keep on path. What a truly elegant universe this is! Remember the last time you were nudged and where it might have gotten you.

5. Live naked! The ultimate work you came here to do is the first impulse you had as a child when you were open, innocent, intuitive and still true to yourself. Get back to that naked innocence and be the true you. Your life will flow forward gracefully again.